Did your marriage work out?

[Anissa]

Did your marriage to a Cuban work for you?

[PelotaEnExilio]

Pinaren~a

[cubatony]

better than I expected , my cuban wife is a jewel. I go thru a fire for her.
We both have gone thru many difficult times during our lifes, She knows what life is about, she's a gem inside as well as outside.

[SaguaLaGrande]

you should qualify your question Anissa. Don't you really want to know if "You married a Cuban who you brought over to your Country"?

That's a whole different ballgame than meeting a Cuban person already in your country.

[Anissa]

I can't change the question but yes SaguaLaGrande....that is what I meant to say...

[Eljay]

Anissa,

The Institue for Cuban & Cuban-American Studies from the University of Miami, published 2 years ago that 35% of married couples arriving from Cuba were divorced within 2 years after entering the US. This was partially due their new socioeconomics situation as well the sudden equality of the sexes. Although, IMO Cubans are not as machistas as Mexicans, we still are!

By the way, two couples from my family experienced the result mentioned above. They were divorced in no time!
Remember that these people were married before; they thought they knew each other, and went through thick and thin together. Some of these couples were married for more than 8 years. So, I must assume that the percentage is much greater for divorces b/t cuba-cubans and other foreigners (just citing cultural differences in addition to everything else).

Must people do not refer to this problem. Must of them are not aware of it. So, besides everything else that you have to worry about; do understand that Cubans taken outside Cuba feel like a fish outside the water, and like everyone else, they act out as such. So, what can be all pink and dandy around their marked territory, it is a totally different game when they are taken outside their comfort zone!

I hope this helps!

[saborami]

Anissa, you should really check out Cuba Amor, that site is more applicable to your relationship questions than here, only because many members have gone through similar situations and you could glean a lot more insight...just a thought.

[Pepin]

I say it works real well. Several guys on this board have Cuban wives. The thing is THEY LIVE SEPARATE COUNTRIES. Yep...that's a good marriage. They live in Canada...the wives in Cuba. They even post when they VISIT with the wife.

Sounds like a real marriage to me.

Ay Vey.

[grichf]

Pepin what I need is a country that is a tax haven and I can easily move myself ,my wife, and son there. Preferably in the Carribean.
Yep it's a tough way to be married.

[Anissa]

Anissa,

The Institue for Cuban & Cuban-American Studies from the University of Miami, published 2 years ago that 35% of married couples arriving from Cuba were divorced within 2 years after entering the US. This was partially due their new socioeconomics situation as well the sudden equality of the sexes. Although, IMO Cubans are not as machistas as Mexicans, we still are!

By the way, two couples from my family experienced the result mentioned above. They were divorced in no time!
Remember that these people were married before; they thought they knew each other, and went through thick and thin together. Some of these couples were married for more than 8 years. So, I must assume that the percentage is much greater for divorces b/t cuba-cubans and other foreigners (just citing cultural differences in addition to everything else).

Must people do not refer to this problem. Must of them are not aware of it. So, besides everything else that you have to worry about; do understand that Cubans taken outside Cuba feel like a fish outside the water, and like everyone else, they act out as such. So, what can be all pink and dandy around their marked territory, it is a totally different game when they are taken outside their comfort zone!

I hope this helps!

Honestly...that's what scares me. I am much more concerned about that than of him being a scammer...cause I know he's not.

[Anissa]

Anissa, you should really check out Cuba Amor, that site is more applicable to your relationship questions than here, only because many members have gone through similar situations and you could glean a lot more insight...just a thought.

I already have an account with cuba amor...I find that alot of the people on that site have been burned and are very quick at jumping to conclusions that since it happened to them, it is bound to happen to me. You wont find too many of the happily married people on that board because people tend to seek for help when they need it...not when they're happy. I do know for a fact that there are alot of couples out there that made it...That said, I do have my eyes wide opened and will take my time in knowing for sure that this will work out before I start any action to bring him here.

[Ilovebeinglost]

Not to generalize but it seems that men married to Cuban women and have brought them over to their own country work out better than a woman marrying a Cuban man.

Sorry Cubans I don't want to be mean but people that seek out and hang around discos to meet foreign women are in many cases looking for a free ticket out.

Again I apologize to well meaning Cubans looking for a real relationship but you know what I say is true. :)

[apyxl]

Sorry Cubans I don't want to be mean but people that seek out and hang around discos to meet foreign women are in many cases looking for a free ticket out.

Not to generalize either... but it appears the people that meet
( and eventually fall in love with and Marry Cubans, regardless of gender )
at the Cubans place of work, appear to be the relationships that stand the test of time...

If it is not too personal, I would be curious to hear from a few people
here that travel to visit their spouse in Cuba, or are in a ( over the hump )
long term marriage outside of Cuba...
Where did you meet???
At thier Place of work... Street corner... customer at a Disco... etc.

Also... those that have been victims of Marriage Fraud / MOC's or just Bad Timing marriages....
Where did you meet....

My brief exposure to Cubans ( in Cuba and here in Toronto), are people that are working... and as father
I would be proud and honored to call any of Cubans I met my "daughter or son in-law"..



apyxl

P.S. Maybe the same question could be asked at Cuba Amor....

P.P.S. Well maybe not AT Their Place of Work.. but gainfully employed...

[Pepin]

Pepin what I need is a country that is a tax haven and I can easily move myself ,my wife, and son there. Preferably in the Carribean.
Yep it's a tough way to be married.

I've been living six moths a year in the Dominican Republic. Don't know about a tax haven but they have a very attractive deal for ex-pats here.

Should you want to come down a take alook around....let me know. I;ll give you the standard tour.

Today's rate.....36 to 1 USD. Not bad considering you can have a nice dinner for two with all the goodies for around 300 pesos....less than $10.

[Yanita]

If it is not too personal, I would be curious to hear from a few people
here that travel to visit their spouse in Cuba, or are in a ( over the hump )
long term marriage outside of Cuba...
Where did you meet???
At thier Place of work... Street corner... customer at a Disco... etc.

Also... those that have been victims of Marriage Fraud / MOC's or just Bad Timing marriages....
Where did you meet....

My brief exposure to Cubans ( in Cuba and here in Toronto), are people that are working... and as father
I would be proud and honored to call any of Cubans I met my "daughter or son in-law"..



apyxl

P.S. Maybe the same question could be asked at Cuba Amor....

P.P.S. Well maybe not AT Their Place of Work.. but gainfully employed...
apyxl, I don't have any such experience, but I think your questions would certainly be answered in detail on Cuba Amor portion of this site.

Most of the people on here that have been married for a long time, seem to managing alright (ie, greslogo, propero). Marriage is not easy at the best of times, but with the right circumstances and partner, you can work through the problems.

I think the period of adjustment is difficult, for Cubans coming to cold old Canada, even Vancouver where I live, the rain can get to people.

Cubans are social and family oriented people and miss that interaction on a daily basis alot, and I think that is one of the reasons for marriage breakups.

Finances, spending money like crazy, is another, then the 'relationship'...getting along etc, seems to come last, unless it was not great in the first place, language barriers, etc.

Just my view, but those seem to be the common complaints, from years of reading Cuba forums and knowing people married to Cubans.

Yanet

[deborah p]

No my marriage did not work out. He said he could not wait to spend the rest of his life with me but once in Canada he was gone within 4 months. I have not seen or heard from him in 8 months. Over the three years we were married he drained my bank account and happily cheated on me (found an e-mail I wasn't supposed to). I recommend when visiting Cuba leaving the Cubans on the island. Unless you are interested in being destroyed spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially. Sorry, but that's the truth!~

[deborah p]

please check article in the Toronto Sun "Runaway Spouses Get Golden Tickect" - Michele Mandel July 9 2006

[candelapupo]

Anissa, just let me say first of all that Cuba Amor is not all about sponsors who have been burned before, there are a few of us on there that are happily living with our spouses outside Cuba and on many occassions have posted information and experiences for other's to read....let's be realistic here. What you call posts from burnt sponsors are what we refer to as the other side of the coin. Too many Canadians especially...are walking around with those rose colored glasses on justifying behaviors that they see but would never tolerate at home because they chalk them up to cultural differences....BS. What some of the poster's on Cuba Amor try to do is bring to light the REALITY of alot of these relationships.........maybe it is negative, but then again....so is the outcome of many of these sponsorships.

Now, with that said....lol.....

I am one of those happily married to my cuban husband. We have been married for almost 5 years now which almost 2 years have been together here in Canada. These relationships CAN work out but not for lack of up's and down's. I think the BIGGEST thing to remember (once you exclude MOC's), is the cultural differences between Cuba and Canada. Of course you think your spouse will adapt to freedom and the "abundances" we have here...and of course they are thankful to have all this, BUT it still doesn't take away the realities of culture shock.

The adjustment phase is THE hardest stage to get through. With alot of patience and understanding, you can be successful. Sometimes the adjustments are just as frustrating for the sponsor as they are for the cuban...but again, patience and understanding go a long way to success.

The best piece of advice I could ever give is make sure you take your time getting to know your partner, his/her culture, and understanding of their language BEFORE you make the decision to marry and sponsor.

To answer a question posted earlier...I met my husband at his place of employment in 2002 and we are still together today, stronger than ever.

[drcuba]

I’m Cuban so let me jump into the discussion. Many of these intercultural marriages simply fail because the cultural differences are really profound! I love Canadians, I used to life in Canada for 5 years, most of my friends are Canadians, so don’t get offended for what I’m going to say, but a marriage between a Canadian and a Cuban is as odd as is a polar bear marrying a chimpanzee. I arrived to Canada single from the US, so I dated a lot of Canadians women, I guess what? None of these relationships worked out because the cultural differences were huge. Not in the sense of literacy levels, because I got a PhD in Canada and usually I dated women that had similar educational backgrounds. The problem was in the way of thinking. I was extremely unhappy with my Canadian long-term relationships while my partners felt the same way. And I wasn’t someone who arrived directly from Cuba; I previously had lived in New York for a few years. So my point is don’t waste your time, and don’t waste your Cuban partners time. There are a few exceptions, but as a rule Cubans and Canadians couples after the initial sexual infatuation don’t seems to go far…

[PelotaEnExilio]

drcuba, eres un loco! Las Canadienses no son nada de buenotas como las cubanas o hasta las americanas...y peor aun, Canada es "medio" socialista. loco, loco.

[drcuba]

Jejeje, pero no creas, las canadienses estan bien buenas......y no todos son socialistas alla

[candelapupo]

Jejeje, pero no creas, las canadienses estan bien buenas......y no todos son socialistas alla

Thank you...and you are correct, we are not all socialists http://www.cubamania.com/cuba/images/icons/icon12.gif

[PelotaEnExilio]

aunque si la mayoria son..jejeje

[saborami]

Did your marriage to a Cuban work for you?



haha....ha ha marraige with a Cuban .....ha ha despite the exections: Pros, Grif... or Grifthethf..(hard name to remember when you have had a few toddies of grape juice) Rick...bla bla bla...the rest of you...ha ha ha marriage to a cuban?

you can not take a Cuban Cuban away from their culture unless you are prepared to live their culture with them. It just does not work . And good on them. (the Cubans I mean, not you). :) :) :) :) http://www.cubamania.com/cuba/images/icons/icon10.gif